Monday, October 24, 2011

Guilt

Sometimes I feel like having diabetes leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.

You know the one.

Guilt.

There are several things that make me feel sub par.

Sibling guilt.  Once my sister said, "you get all of the fun diseases."

What?

Then I realized, I get the attention.  Albeit, the unwanted attention, but nonetheless it occupies people's time.  They fund raise for my walk.  Attend my functions.  Etc.  I would do anything in the world to trade it, but sometimes it is what it is.

Food guilt.

When I test and get a 343 mg/dl, but still eat anyway.  I have the guilt of doing something I am not supposed to.  You. Are. Harming. Your. Body. 

But, I am hungry.

Burden.

I have blogged about it before.  I don't want to leave my family or friends with my mistakes.  I don't want them to hurt.

a1c

How many people with diabetes feel the instant disappointment when your a1c comes back and is higher than before and you know you worked so hard this last round?  You feel so guilty and confused and hurt.  It isn't fair.

Children.

It is a fairly small percentage, but I don't want to pass it down.  It terrifies me.

Life is too short to be concerned with it all.  Tomorrow is another day.

No comments: