Monday, October 24, 2011

Guilt

Sometimes I feel like having diabetes leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.

You know the one.

Guilt.

There are several things that make me feel sub par.

Sibling guilt.  Once my sister said, "you get all of the fun diseases."

What?

Then I realized, I get the attention.  Albeit, the unwanted attention, but nonetheless it occupies people's time.  They fund raise for my walk.  Attend my functions.  Etc.  I would do anything in the world to trade it, but sometimes it is what it is.

Food guilt.

When I test and get a 343 mg/dl, but still eat anyway.  I have the guilt of doing something I am not supposed to.  You. Are. Harming. Your. Body. 

But, I am hungry.

Burden.

I have blogged about it before.  I don't want to leave my family or friends with my mistakes.  I don't want them to hurt.

a1c

How many people with diabetes feel the instant disappointment when your a1c comes back and is higher than before and you know you worked so hard this last round?  You feel so guilty and confused and hurt.  It isn't fair.

Children.

It is a fairly small percentage, but I don't want to pass it down.  It terrifies me.

Life is too short to be concerned with it all.  Tomorrow is another day.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Why? It is Important.


Unlike when I first started this blog, I try not to make it too much about JDRF and more about my life with diabetes. That being said, sometimes it is interchangeable and needs to be partisan (to throw in a little politics for you).

Right now, JDRF is petitioning the FDA for what I call a "right now cure," the artificial pancreas. The Artificial Pancreas Project has been one of the most exciting things on the research radar in the past three years. I have had the pleasure to hear from JDRF researcher, Dr. Aaron Kowalski, who has been in the lead on this project since the beginning.  "An artificial pancreas would measure blood sugar through a continuous glucose monitor (CGM), which continuously reads the glucose levels through a hair-thin tube inserted just below the skin, typically on the stomach. The CGM would beam those readings to an insulin pump. In an advanced system, the pump would house a sophisticated computer program that would automatically calculate the necessary amount of insulin, based on the CGM's glucose readings, and deliver the right amount of insulin."  (JDRF)

This is exciting. This is close. This is now.

All we need is for the FDA to approve it. You can do your part by visiting the link below and signing the petition. Currently, it is 25,000 strong, but there are many more of us. It should be stronger.

Please help if you can.

CLICK HERE!

In JDRF's words... "An artificial pancreas represents the most revolutionary advance in treating type 1 diabetes since the discovery of insulin. This device, now under development, will dramatically change the lives of people with type 1, allowing them to maintain tight control of blood glucose levels, thereby significantly reducing the risk of life-threatening fluctuations and freeing them of much of the daily burden of managing their disease. The speed with which an artificial pancreas reaches patients in the United States will be determined by crucial guidance to be issued by December 1st by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. The FDA needs to hear from you that type 1 diabetes families are watching, we are waiting, and we are urging that the agency seize this moment to lead, and not stand in the way of bringing this innovative and life saving device to market. Raising your voice now is critically important because recent FDA actions create a real risk that the agency may throw obstacles in the path of researchers, scientists, and manufacturers who are poised to launch the outpatient clinical trials required to demonstrate the safety and effectiveness of an artificial pancreas. You need to tell the FDA that delays are not acceptable. You need to tell the FDA to keep their promise to the children and families affected by type 1 diabetes. You need to tell them that the health and even the lives of your loved ones are at stake. Sign the petition and check the box to receive emails from JDRF so you can stay up to date on our next steps for the AP.

More information about the JDRF Artificial Pancreas Project can be found online at www.jdrf.org/artificialpancreasproject. The site includes information for people with type 1 diabetes about research leading to the development of an artificial pancreas, as well as interactive tools, project timelines, chats with researchers and access to information about clinical trials." (JDRF)

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Hi, My name is Nikki...


I have a problem.

Some people have serious addictions...I am not mocking that. My addiction to halloween candy is bordering serious.

I need an intervention.

This is my 24 hr Dex reading.


That is scary. It doesn't even need a costume.

I better hit the gym if I am going to maintain the next three months.