Day 30 - Life Without Diabetes
I am having a low blood sugar as I write this. About 15 minutes ago I was 46. Please forgive me if it is jumbled, but this is how it goes.
I was diagnosed in college. I had quite a bit of life without type 1 diabetes. The thing is though, the memory of the day to day, of carefree, careless actions is fuzzy to me. I never had to go to a birthday party and skip the cake because my blood sugar was too high. I never had to skip sleepovers, or dance recitals or anything. Being an adult with type 1 diabetes is a completely different dynamic than being a child with type 1 diabetes. I had a perfect childhood. Now, let me tell you about my adulthood.
In college, I told every professor I had diabetes. I was terrified of going low in class and not knowing where I was. I told my employer, my friends, my dance teacher. Diabetes did inhibit me, but it didn't control me.
Fast forward to post graduation - I found a job in the diabetes field. It became all consuming. My whole work day revolves around it. Before it was just my personal life. Now it is my career. Sometimes it is a little much. Sometimes I am grateful to have my niche. Other times, I am just so damn sick of it.
Now that I am getting older and planning a family, I will say I am now consumed 24/7 by diabetes. It is hard for me to even remember the days of college when it was just something I had. Now, I almost feel like it is what I am...
My Dr.'s offices define me as a T1D. My patient records categorize me as high risk. To them it is what I am. Today I make the distinction. It may be what I am, but not who I am. I am much more than that.
Life without diabetes would be just that. I am Nikki, I am not a person with diabetes, or a diabetic. Or the one that works at JDRF who has T1D. Or the facebooker who can talk of nothing else.
I am just me. A reader, writer, dancer, sarcastic, loving, know-it-all person. Someone who one day had a disease that made them stronger.