It is finally Friday. I am in the midst of finishing the last weekend of a fast-track graduate class. I haven't had a weekend in three weeks.
I am feeling a little down today. As I read Kerri's blog I started to feel even more down. We are different. Who thinks about disconnecting their pump during sex? Only us. And we think about this every time. Sometimes, it is just part of my routine, as I reach down to my stomach to disconnect, it seems as if it is no big deal, but as I slowly drop my pump off the side of the bed, the noise as it crashes down to the floor snaps me back into reality of this moment. I am different.
When I am tired at work, is it because I am high? Or is is because I just didn't sleep well last night. Diabetes is a constant. It has to be a part of every thought. Sometimes I just want to quit.
I have been in this slump for a while. I go to the Diabetes OC everyday to feel normal, but I am constantly surrounded by this disease. I see a four year old with their insulin pumps and it makes me sad. Sad that I know they will be 24 like me someday, with these same problems, yet they have no idea. I just want to escape.