Thursday, December 21, 2006

Christmas is here...almost.



I feel that in the last week I have bolused for about 4000 grams of carbs. Not only is this my problem, but is seems to be a universal problem throughout the Diabetes OC. Some of us have very strong willpower, however, I am not one of them.

It all started yesterday, my boss gave me candy for Christmas...I cannot quit eating it, nor do I want to quit eating it. I know all of the tricks, out of sight out of mind, have one piece put it up, keep healthy snacks around...blah blah blah. I cannot quit eating candy. Unfortunately, today is only Thursday. There are at least four to five more days of this Christmas candy madness.

I am a big believer of not depriving myself of normalcy, so I shall continue to enjoy my candy and I urge all of you to take a break from your strict diabetic lives and do the same.

Thank God for the bolus wizard. Mini-med I am sending you a Christmas card.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 15, 2006

What's with today, today?

When I was in the ninth grade I felt that every situation in life warranted an "Empire Records" movie quote. It seemed like every element of my life was relevant to one of the movie's quotes. Granted, some of them are totally outlandish, but some of them are fantastic. Such as: "Who know where thoughts come from, they just appear" and "damn the man, save the empire!"Okay, so enough with the empire, but seriously do you ever think "What's with today, today?" Why is today any different than any other day. As a T1 Diabetic I often feel like every day I face something with this disease that makes me wonder...what the crap is going on with that? If it is a random high, or low blood sugar, am I feeling sick because of my high blood sugar, or am I high because I am sick. There is not a day that goes by that I am not puzzled by my diabetes life.This past week has held some super high blood sugars, but today, out of nowhere, I have perfect blood sugars, I didn't leave the hundreds all day! I am sure tomorrow will not warrant the same. but as of today, what's with today, today?

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Ode to the Insulin Pen



I have been through several methods of depositing insulin into my body. Don't get me wrong, I love my pump, but it seems that my fail safe is my trusty insulin pen. Since diagnosed I have been through several models, but they all serve the same purpose, to be there for me when everything else is not.

When first diagnosed, it was syringes, then my pen, and now my pump, but that something that always leaves the house with me, the wallet, the pump, and the meter, is the pen. Whether it has been with my Humalog, or Novolog, and now Apidra, it has been my savior.

The last couple of days I have been having really awful bs readings. I have only consciously been in the 100's once, but I am stubborn, it is a new site and it is obviously giving me insulin, but the absorption rate is not so great. When I put in the site it went in so perfectly, I put it in a little higher on my abdomen than normal, but I figured hey there has got to be less scar tissue in that area. Apparently not. I absolutely hate wasting infusion sets. Absolutely hate it. They are not cheap and even though I have fairly good insurance I would rather be normal and spend that much money on something else. Like some really great shoes, or a "grown up" purse. (forgive me I am just now experiencing the grown up world) So, today I will be changing out my site, normally I would refill the reservoir and let it stretch a couple more days, but I am tired of taking unnecessary injections and feeling fuzzy.

Once again, thank you insulin pen, thank you for going that extra mile to keep me alive.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Happy Holidays!


Hi everyone! It has been forever since I made my last post. I feel like such a slacker. I have been so busy lately, I am going to try to be a better blogger and write every day, or maybe every other day. I honestly don't feel like I am interesting enough to come up with something everyday.

I am so excited about Christmas! My husband has been transferred like a thousand miles away for his work and I haven't seen him since before Thanksgiving, but he will be home next week!

I haven't even started my Christmas shopping and I have so many people to buy for. I have just been so busy at work I haven't accomplished anything else otherwise.

I am now working for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, its a selfish job for me I know, but I love it. I think I could work there for the rest of my life and be perfectly content. Every time the phone rings with a parent of a newly diagnosed child on the other end, I feel like I have found my calling. Speaking with these distraught parents of my past experiences make me feel like I have really made a difference in their lives, cheesy I know, but I also know that when you are first diagnosed it is so hard to transition into your new life. It is even harder to find people who really understand. That is why am so glad I have found the Diabetes OC. I know I haven't posted in a long time, but I read everyday. If it weren't for people like Kerri, Nicole, Sandra, and the many others I don't know if I would have the same outlook on my life. These people really help me strive to be better and to educate and to become a new person. Thank you from me and I'm sure many, many others.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

You look like a diabetic.

My friend calls me the other day to tell me that her co-workers have discovered a wrist fanny pack to wear around and make fun of. One of the girls puts on the wrist fanny pack and someone else makes the comment, "You look like a diabetic." So, the girl proceeds to put a candy bar in the wrist fanny pack and someone else says, "Now you really look like a diabetic."

My first thoughts are...what? She looks like a diabetic? How?

Then I think, is that what the perceptions of a T1 diabetic are?

What in the scenario refers to a T1 diabetic?

Stereotypes like these really frustrate me. Is it necessary to assume something about a disease you know nothing about?

Monday, July 17, 2006

H.R. 810

I have been watching the debate on C-SPAN all day and I am losing hope. I don't think we are going to be allowed a cure and if we are, it will probably be vetoed.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Damn you Sonic

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't written in so long, but I have been sooooo busy, but now I'm back and here to stay, hopefully...

So, anyway tonight my husband and I made a trip to Sonic to get some ice cream. I have been dreaming about the hot fudge brownie blast (it is heaven). So, we order our ice cream, mine minus the whipped cream (yuck) and wait for our order to be delivered. I sit there playing with my pump, getting it ready over and over again, with hopes that any second the carhop will bring me my ice cream and I can push the ACT button. Finally, nearly thirty minutes later, my husband says, "Here she is," so like the idiot I sometimes am, I delivered all of the units for a pretty good sized cup of ice cream, with hot fudge, and brownies. She hands my husband mine first, with whipped cream and almost half of the way melted. His being the same way. I decided that I would try to eat it anyway since I had just delivered a massive amount of insulin. No luck, it made me sick to take bites (or technically drinks) of it. So, then for the rest of the evening I get to overeat other snacks and juice to catch up for the ice cream that I bolused for, but didn't eat. Damn you Sonic for screwing up my very much anticipated, and well deserved in my opinion, trip for ice cream. I guess maybe next time I will learn to wait for my bolus (but probably not since I haven't yet).

I hope everyone is doing great, I have been trying to play catch-up reading all of your blogs tonight!

Friday, April 28, 2006

Just another D Day

Today I turned in my CGMS system and on Monday I get the results of this annoying thing. First of all I would like to say to anyone who is planning on using the CGMS system, it is not something you get used to. It is a pain in the butt, but hopefully will help me fine tune my numbers.

When I was turning in the CGMS today I was getting on the elevator and this really friendly man joins me. He proceeds to ask me what is on my hip. I don't mind answering this, most of the time I like to educate people about T1 diabetes. I let him know it is an insulin pump and I haveT1 diabetes. He then says, "I haven't gotten that far along yet, (referring to "having" to be on a pump) I have T2 diabetes." He was such a nice man, but I couldn't help but think, hello, I didn't make myself have to have insulin, and you are planning in your future to get to where you are "that far along"? Maybe I am just irritated because I am tired and it is rainy and gloomy here today. I don't know. I wish that when they decided to name the disease of T1 and T2 diabetes, they honestly wouldn't have chosen the same name.

Another story, on Tuesday when I was at the endo to get the CGMS started and they were going over how to use it and everything, the nurse, who was speaking out loud to herself, was filling out some paperwork. She was saying like the dates, and type of insulin, and then she says T2 diabetic, controlled. I said wait, I have T1 diabetes, and I said this really annoyed. She was like oh sorry. Then I said something really nasty and I regret saying this, but I was irritated. "Do I look like I have T2 diabetes?" Yes, I know not all T2 diabetics are overweight, not all of them are old, and not all of them control their bg by pills, yes I know this, but truthfully the majority of them are. The nurse then proceeds to lecture me on stereotypes and blah blah blah and all the while I am wanting to scream, IF YOU HADN'T SAID THAT OUT LOUD YOU WOULD HAVE RECORDED THE WRONG INFORMATION FOR ME, YOU JERK, but I just sit and there and wonder where in the heck she came up with the I had T2 and why she said that. I am confused, I am small, really small, always have been, on an insulin pump (most T2 aren't), wtf man? I don't know, I just needed to vent. I hope no one is offended by anything I said. I am just irritated. I didn't do anything at all to bring on my T1 and most of the time I hate it. I hate that people do not understand the disease. I hate that people make assumptions, like that it was my diet, or exercise, that caused it. I was active my entire life, entered college weighing less than 100 lbs., was a dance minor, specializing in ballet and tap, how could I have brought this on myself. How could people jump to the conclusions that I have T2 diabetes and why would they? Sorry so long, I am just really, really frustrated and annoyed today. Let me know if you have a similar experience :)

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Ketones

Okay, so my blood sugar has been over 200 and up in the 300's for over a day. Why? I don't know. I haven't done anything different. It isn't my pump, checked that, I have checked my blood glucose about 25 times! I am so frustrated. I called my pharmacy and they don't carry blood ketone test strips, they only have urine. Finally about 20 minutes ago when I was about to call my endo, my bg was 146. I don't understand.

Okay, so now that I described the problem I am having, here is the question. What is a good monitor to buy that can also use blood ketones strips? Right now the monitor that I am on is the monitor that came with my Mini-med pump. I also have two back ups that I hardly ever use, a Ascensia Elite, and I used to have a Medisense Precision, which I think is probably dated. The Precision used to have blood ketone strips that you could buy separately, but apparently not anymore.

Any help anyone?

Friday, March 31, 2006

Brittle Diabetes- Take Two

Okay, so the reasoning for asking everyone's thoughts on the phrase brittle diabetes, has to do with someone I went to college with. She is my age, T1, and has been since she was 17 years old. She, however, unlike me, does not take care of herself. She is on the same insulin regimen as I was before I went on the pump (Lantus at night, and Novolog/Humalog for boluses during the day for every meal). She hardly ever takes any insulin, maybe one shot a day. She doesn't take care of herself at all. She never checks her blood sugar and she is constantly drinking regular soda and never bolusing for it. Since I met her she has lost like forty pounds, been in the hospital many times, and is ALWAYS sick. I have tried many times to convince her that she is killing herself. The damage she is doing is irreversible. I have so much as checked her blood sugar and measured her shots for her when she is too sick to do it herself. Then I graduated college and moved away and now I don't know who is taking care of her.

Now that I gave the background, on to the reason for starting the discussion on "brittle diabetes." So, I am hardly ever giving people reasons to even worry about me and my T1 diabetes. I never miss a shot, I check my bg 8-10 times a day, I am now on the pump, and I want to continue to be healthy, therefore, I do not suffer from many of the complications that my college friend is. When I try to explain to mutual friends that she is causing her self to be so sick they say, "Her diabetes is not like yours, she is a 'brittle diabetic'." I am like WTF, we have the same type, she is no worse off than I am, and how dare you say I am no where near as bad as a diabetic as she is. You want to know the difference, I CARE ABOUT MYSELF. I feel sorry for my friend and I have tried and tried to help her, but she is 23 and should be helping herself. I am not judging her by any means and I know every one can go through a denial period, but I don't know what else as a friend I could do and I am so tired of people telling me my diabetes isn't bad because I don't have the problems she does.

Give me a break! I am sorry to rant like this, but I know you guys are the ones who will understand.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

TAXES!!!!

It seems like every time I log onto my blog, I log on to complain. So, the complaint of the day is my income taxes. This is the first year I have ever had to personally, with my husband, file my taxes. My parents have always done it before because I was a student and not married and they claimed me, so easy for me, nice. Not so easy this year.

My husband and I used the same person that does my parent's taxes because she could get us back a lot of money. Well, she has messed around and waited forever to file our taxes. We paid an extra $75 , on top of her fee, to have her file these taxes electronically. This has been a while ago, still no money. We called her yesterday to see if she maybe had filed them yesterday and she was like, no, but maybe I will get to them today. WTF???????? Come one lady it has been almost a month.

To make matters worse there were some bills I very irresponsibly put off until the taxes came in. What was I thinking?? Now I am so stressed about money and getting into graduate school and I am about to go crazy! Hopefully she filed the taxes yesterday and they will be here shortly, we can only hope. I think I have learned my lesson about blowing money for no reason on a false hope that the other money will be here soon. OH WELL!

P.S. I had to change my pink background...there was only so much of that I could take. :)

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Reverse Diabetes

So, yesterday I was in Barnes and Noble looking around and as usual I walked through the diabetes section to see if there was anything new I would like to have and there it was...

Reverse Diabetes in Two Months or Less blah blah blah

So I pick it up just for the hell of it and flip through it. Of course I knew that the book was aimed at people with T2, but I looked through it anyway and guess what wasn't there...the fact that it was aimed at T2 diabetics. It would be easy for people who are recently diagnosed T1 to pick up the book and actually buy it thinking they could actually reverse diabetes. It just frustrates me that people make money by giving other people false hopes, because that is what they are, false hopes. Reverse Diabetes, what a bunch of bs.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Type 1A?

Okay, so I have been doing some reading today and stumbled across an article that describes two different types of T1 diabetes. Type 1A and type 1B. I didn't know that there were two different types of Type 1. I hope I don't sound stupid reporting this, but I am really confused. My endo, or any doctors for that matter, never told me anything other than that I am T1, that is my diagnosis. Does anyone have a better understanding on this? Please share????

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Happy Birthday to me!

So... today is my 23rd birthday. I am becoming more and more of an adult. I got bad news in the mail yesterday, my blood work from my test came back and apparently I have high cholesterol. I don't know much about cholesterol and I have never really worried about it, but on my paperwork as I was going through the very long list of numbers that I do not know anything about, was

194...

and beside it was written, close to good and a big fat H for high!

I do not understand how my cholesterol can even be above normal. I am not overweight, I am actually pretty small, I don't salt my food, I don't eat a lot of meat, high cholesterol isn't in my family... I just don't understand. I am a little frustrated if you cannot tell.

Also, missing from my blood work is my latest A1C which is what I really wanted to know. This is a new endo so I am I wondering how everything is going to work with her. So, not only am I worried about my cholesterol, now I am worried about my A1C! Sorry, I just needed to vent a bit.

Maybe the cholesterol reading is all wrong. Now I am off to celebrate my birthday!

Monday, March 20, 2006

So sick!!!

Hi everyone. Thanks so much for all of the positive welcomes! It really makes me feel better that there are other people everywhere that really can relate to what I am feeling.

It has been a couple of days since the last time I have written. I have been sick, with a sinus infection. It really sucks that such a minor thing, like a sinus infection, takes such a toll on my body. My medications make me not hungry, but my blood sugars are still way high even though I am constantly bolusing. Yuck. That is truly how I feel.

To make matters worse, it is my Spring Break. Oh well, last year on Spring Break I had strep. I think I would rather have the sinus infection. :)

I am really excited to be a part of this blogging community and it has truly made me want to become more of an advocate for type 1 diabetes. I would like to help people like many of you have helped me just by reading your blogs. Thanks so much to all of you for that. I look forward to becoming a part of this online community!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Ouch

So, today I go to get my blood drawn for various tests and I have the worst experience ever. Sadly I am a diabetic who is scared of stuff like getting your blood drawn. I am known to faint if I work myself up enough over it. I go to this new place to have the procedure done because I have just moved to Tulsa. They put me in a room with four other people all having their blood drawn at the same time as me. I want to cry! I cannot watch other people have this done, or hear the nurses talking about it. I wish there was some privacy to this, but oh well. I just needed to rant a bit, but now I am better.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Trial Run

Okay, so I have been reading countless blogs about diabetes for the past two days and I have finally talked myself into starting one. I think these other blogs have helped me to cope with the fact that I have (and have had for a while) a disease that is not going to go away. So here goes...

I am 22 years old, almost 23, and I have Type 1 diabetes. Damn the luck huh? I usually do pretty well with the whole thing, but some days I just want to scream, or cry, which is what I usually do.

I am a pumper. I love my Medtronic Minimed Paradigm 515. I just went on the pump last year and so far I have loved every minute of it. So far. I just graduated college last year and got married after graduation. I know 22 is young to get married, but I already have a college degree and I needed medical insurance (if you have type 1 diabetes you can feel me on this one). I am just kidding about getting married for the medical insurance. I married a wonderful guy, Joey, who I met my first semester of college.

I guess I will start out slow on the blog thing, but I am sure once I get the hang of it I will be addicted.